Oh The Silly Things I Say.....Love is a Choice??

OOOOOOH I've had this statement "Love is a Choice" tumblin' around in my head for quite quite QUITE some time....Years.

I have been chewing on this thought since I read this book called "Love is a choice"; I dont remember toooo many details about it other than it was about dysfunctional, unhealthy relationships.

This book planted a seed in my brain.... Is Love a choice??

We alll know the fairy tales of "love at first sight", happily ever after.... Alll heart, Alll emotions.....Love at first sight means to me "no choice".... Yes, ok I can see that as I have experienced Love....

But I can not wholeheartedly agree with it. Its like someone tapping me on the shoulder constantly, consistently without fail, without skipping a damn beat and saying to me:

"That's not all, There's more to it, Keep thinking"
Ok so fine I started looking at "Love" and "Love is a choice" from my nerd/vulcan side of my brain cells. Hello Spock Hello Tuvock! Logically, No Heart, All Brains.... YES, OK I can see how that could work also.

However, again I just can't totally agree with it. And so tonight once again, despite how tired I am I'm pondering "Love is a choice" and then had the urge to write about it.

As of right now Ive come to this "Until further notice" conclusion.


Love IS a Choice, AND Love is NOT choice.
The part that is "NOT" a choice is the "love at first sight". I'm going to dare to say that when you meet someone you instantly know in your cells and soul that you Love this person. Its not something you can explain, its just there. It's what makes you smile constantly every time your "love interests" name is mentioned. ;) (sigh) oh Amor, so Sweet!

The part that IS a Choice is when you make the decision to keep that "love seed" planted and you make the choice to "keep watering it". It's also a choice to kill the "love plant", however in different situations, you may not have a choice but to kill the "love plant" because of various external reasons..

Basically what I see in my brain is this....

"The heart" does the initial "not a choice" option For you, Then the brain follows up and works With the heart to keep the love going. :)



XOXOXOXOXOXO

Oh the silly things I say....... Life Balance Recovery Analogy

Finding a Balance is like "tight rope" walking..... Takes A TON of practice, over and over and over again, every day minute of every day..But ;)once you have it, its easy.....
You may still wiggle a bit while on the tight rope walk of life, we all do, but once you "have it", the recovery back to center balance is easier.

Oh the silly things I say...... Introversion

I have the ability to walk into a crowded room full of people and be super social without a problem. I wont have any fear about what so ever. However, there are times where Im just not in the damn mood. I struggled with this for a long time because I LOVE People. All of them, and the uniqueness that comes with it. Throughout my life so far I noticed a vast majority of people can seem to always always go go go go on the social/work scene. I was jealous and fricken amazed. I went nutso trying to figure out why in the hell I couldnt "hang" with the rest of them. Even growing up, as a child when you're supposed to have a ton of energy to go go go all day playing, I couldnt... I remember constantly all day long every 2 hours coming inside to zone out to my nintendo. In high school after the Football games ( I was a cheerleader ) while everyone was pumped up and so ready to hit the town and par-tay, I was ready to eat some dinner and go to bed. I made it as far as Denny's those nights and couldnt wait to go home. As an adult my friends called me the "Old Lady" because during group parties, while my Ex the Extrovert was ready to go allllll fricken night long, I was ready to go to bed half way through the night. Truly a bummer, I hated it.

Now, I have a job again (server at a great restaurant), three children and two dogs; the best part is I'm not dropping dead tired. woot woot! I started to research about Introverts and the first difference I read about was how Introverts recharge their energy verses Extroverts recharging. Eureka! It totally clicked in me, this was the reason why I was labeled the old lady and why I needed my zone out nintendo time and or Nickelodeon time and head in head phone in my teen age years, I'm literally being drained every moment I am out there being social. This had actually filled A LOT of "whys" in my life. I was seriously thinking I was damaged/broken or had some severe mental illness. LOL

Knowing this has made my days a little easier. Even how I get ready for work is different. I'm completely allowed to take all the fricken time I need to get ready. I never realized how much I used the time I "get ready to go out" as a "recharge tool". I throw my head in head phones, play whatever the hell I want, think about anything deep or shallow, by the time I get to work "My tank" is full and I'm so ready to go. This has affected my tips in a GREAT way. Now that I'm charged up going into work I can think clearly and have a goal in mind to chit chat in a modest innocent flirt like fashion to all my customers. Tips now compared to about 10 years ago are vastly different, I was grumpy at work back then and I barely made anything. I complained constantly and I know I had a "sour face" going to my tables. But, now, I feel refreshed.


YEA BABY!